Monday, August 18, 2014

Week 55 / Feelings

Dear Family,

The other day we were trying to find one of our potential's. We had his address, but when we stumbled upon the apartments he lived in, it was huge! There was so many levels and doors that we had no possible way of getting though all of them in time to make it home for the night. I decided to pray in my heart and we began on the highest floor and started knocking. I was more quiet than usual because I was really trying to listen to the promptings of the spirit. Nothing came to my head. So, I kept at it. Hitting every door and talking to many. After hitting one floor I stopped in the hallway and was making my way to the stairs when I had a boom, ''3rd floor''. How strange... I don't think I will ever get use to the spirit. Again and again the spirit told me, ''3rd floor''. I told Sister Porter and we booked it. We knocked on the first door! It was a no. But, when we asked if she knew the man we were looking for she said. ''Oh, yes he lives just right there.'' We found him! While we were dooring later on  we actually found another potential on that 3rd floor and set up for this week to meet. He already had a Book of Mormon and told us he had got it years ago and although he has moved around a lot, it has stuck with him and has been something special to him.

We went over to one of our inactive's house who just recently had her baby a couple months back. Her baby could not stop staring at me and I couldn't stop staring at her. I had never seen a baby smile as much as she did and I was touched. How beautiful children are and how precious they are. I love this family we visit. They have such a strong positive energy. I sit in their house and am amazed at how much love and warmth I feel there. We went to another inactive's home that we had never actually had the chance to meet with and for some time missionaries haven't been able to get in. Sestra Porter and I felt prompted to knock this week and immediantly the door opened and we were led in. This man was hilarious and a goofball. He said he was a fanatic about chocolate and he began to give us some out of a huge chocolate bar that was at least two feet long. We ate the few he gave us and was ready to leave when he came over and said, ''Are you full?'' We said, ''Yes, and I don't think we can have any more...'' but thehe man began to react like a mad scientist and grabbed the whole chocolate bar and while laughing hysterically dumped all the chocolate on the plate to let us eat. I couldn't help but roll over and laugh. There are some really brilliant, lovely people here in the church and I am excited to get them to come back and feel the spirit more abundantly.

There is so many young people now coming to church and family home evening. For family home evening a kid we have been working with the entire time I have been in Ljubljana but wouldn't come to anything randomly showed up that night. The Spirit was so strong and we had games at the park. Just sitting there all together on the blanket and having a lesson it felt like a big family. It was good to interact and connect soul to soul with each other. I loved every moment.

We contacted a lot of people this week and had good discussions with everyone around us. We had a beautiful oppurtunity to talk to an Italian couple and they taught us some words in Italian and they were really interested in just who we are as well.

I have really focused a lot on feelings this week. What influences us for happiness and peace of mind. What makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad. What makes me feel on top of the world and what makes me feel at home. I notice that what we are doing here in this life, on a mission, is simply getting people to feel something. Something far better than we can ever imagine feeling. That because we know this church is true, because we want this Gospel and all it has to offer... We get a feeling. A feeling that is surreal and peace filling. I have felt in my life when the spirit wasn't there. I have felt the complete hopelessness and falling that at some points in our life we will feel. It's heart turning and it's scary. I have no doubt in my mind and in my heart that when I have had these moments and when I turned my all to the Savior I have felt whole. I have felt His loving guidance and influence. I have felt the calming of the Spirit and the hope for a better day. At times it didn't come all at once, sometimes I had to wait days... or months.. But slowly by slowly I could see beams or flashes of light. When I have felt the Spirit the sun turns on and I am magnetized to it. Just like the solar system. We want to encircle it as it encircles us. I have seen God's loving hands in my work here in this life. That through those hard times I had been saved, that looking back I see I was never alone. That God is looking out for us, he is running to us. Imperfect as we are. He is running to us. He wants us. Jesus Christ has saved me... He has saved you and I know if you have him in your life you will begin to transform into the potential you are. That you will look forward, and you will look up and only see the beauty in the hard. You will feel God's love for you and know you are enough. I love this Gospel so much. I love Heavenly Father so much. I love my Savior so much. I am who I am and becoming only because of them and I am grateful to serve them my whole life.

I love you family, have a good week. Hope you know you are all important to me and mean more than the world to me.

Sestra Cuthbert

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